PPPardonez Moi?

Profess. Provide. Protect.

My, if only we all realised it was this easy. This is how you know a boy loves you, easy as pie, no ifs and buts.

1) Profess.

This is the _declaration_, the description of you loaded with intent. “Hey fellow colleagues at my work Christmas party, this is my baby-mama.” Mmm. Feels good, doesn’t it? Or at least it should… or else, you might want to get onto that…. Come on girls, you know if the man introduces you as “my friend Sarah Jane from stamp-collecting group” after you’ve been doing the wild monkey dance for 3 months… nah-uh, that’s not what you want.

2) Provide.

Let’s just get this out the way. You are not a gold-digger. (Are you?) You’re a Noughtie’s woman, confident in your splendourous ability to self-provide, self-spoil and pay for your own goddamn flowers on the 1st of spring. But we have kind of obliterated the male ego in the process. (Yes we have.) Suck it up and let him pay if he wants to. Money is a hot tin roof and sometimes you need to put on your tap shoes and dance…. He needs to know a certain level of providing is necessary, especially if a ring and a uterus are to be exchanged in this relationship…

3) Protect.

There’s a reason why the concept that Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars (not Hell, silly!) is a multi-million dollar concept. We are inherently different. Men used to protect us and our offspring from sabre-toothed critters out the the sticks, 2 fazillion BC. You know a man has your back when the mole at the shoe store starts getting up in your grill for returning your most recent purchase and he steps forward with his chest puffed out to your defence. Yes, you want to feel like he’s prepared to don the armour have it out with attackers on your behalf. (Shut up when he tells you what you should’ve said to your boss when you had a confrontation… he’s Mr Fix It, and hot-darn, it looks sexy.)

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