No-Go Zone…

“Hey hun, I bumped into ____ (insert ex name here) last week while we were all out for drinks. Wow- he’s got quite hot lately… and I forgot how friendly and funny he is!”

This is a true story. This happened to me. I didn’t realise I had girlfriends who thought it was ok to stalk my exes/future exes.

Obviously there are rules to such an engagement. If I have ever so much as stalked aforementioned man, he’s off limits to all my friends. Joking.

Ok not really.

Well well well. Karma is quite a matronly school nurse at times.

I dated someone in the past year for a brief period. It was serious enough for sleepovers, cross national travel and the “L” word. When I broke up with him, he wasn’t suicidal and didn’t cry (good sign, right?) and we both knew it was the right thing to do.

We aren’t friends anymore because, well… that’s a whole other blog.

In the months that we dated, he did introduce me to a new circle of amazing people, people I still socialise with. People including one lovely man in particular.

Let me just reiterate how hard it is to meet men in Cape Town with that carefully constructed deconstructed look who are not gay.

So, we’ve been friends now for a year. Ex is now engaged and I’m almost certain he doesn’t even remember my surname or what colour my hair is… that makes it ok for his friend and I to date, yes???? (Panicked glancing around the room, reaching for assurance via chocolate)

No. It doesn’t make it ok by any stretch of the imagination.

Well, my imagination at least. Awkward dinners involving strangers saying “oh wow and so how did you guys meet?” “Erm well she kinda dated him and then me afterwards”. No thanks.

I think I’ll just sit here and torture myself in my family-size Nestle hazelnut slab induced woeful moment and imagine how wonderful it may have possibly been.

There must surely be another successful straight man in this one-Vespa town who wears Chambray and Commes des Garçons and listens to The Black Keys and who thinks I’m funny and sexy and who likes Nestle hazelnut too.

One Response to “No-Go Zone…”

  1. Hmmmmmmmm. As usual funny and thought provoking dear Kondee lovely star…
    I don’t know- I think there are quite a few factors that make this situation- the NO go situation as complicated as a Long higher grade Maths paper(back in my day don’t know how they are these days) and yet also as simple as 1 + 1— you have to work out if you can or should entertain thoughts of slow dancing with this not so strange man by looking at certain factors– ie time( this isn’t yesterdays news rt- there’s been some time)… And how important this x is to you now( do you hang and see this guy a lot? Phone him when u have a frog stuck in your toilet?) …. Weighted against how much you would like to see the No stranger… Let’s face it—- a lot of people meet through boyfriends and girlfriends… And while it can be a strange thing- can raise. Few eye brows and maybe make for some awkward encounters… But!!!! Isn’t that what life is all about??? Awkward encounters and making the most of them. If the equation fails- think of Pearl harbour- that big dollop of amerkano cheese ball movie where the main actress ended up being with both the best friends- then when the best came back from the dead– eeep that was awkward but hey!! They had a war to fight so soldiered on! Think of your duty to all the romantics out there- who want to find out wat this not so strange guy is like… And soldier on!!!!

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