Cheatin’ Heart…

We’re all so well-groomed for the behaviour. Social conditioning. Its in every bloody song and movie. People lie. People cheat. People can’t remain faithful.

Or not.

Maybe it’s the whole surge of Social Media. “Joe Smith is in a complicated relationship”. “Hey @marriedgirl, just saw @joesmith leaving Bungalow with @thatslut #wtf”

It’s just that we’re all so goddamn busy. Do we have time?? Or the bloody energy?? I’m single and I _still_ don’t have enough time to work out, keep my house spotless and pay my TV License on time, nevermind remember to wear my matching sexy undies.

And lying is hard. Really friggin hard. I can’t even tell my boss the reason I was late for work was because there was a ‘terrible pile-up on the N2’ and not because I pressed snooze on my alarm for another 10 minutes.

Being 30 is great for many reasons, one being, by now, you’re most likely to have cheated on someone, and been cheated on. Nice, we’ve got it out of our systems. Established that it’s not like a Jodeci music video- lithe, toned limbs and a 24th storey penthouse swathed in cashmere. And when karma wakes up and slaps you in the face, it hurts.

Obviously besides the glaring time management issues, and ingrained Catholic guilt… why don’t we cheat?

This is my blog. So I will offer you my mere reasoning.

I don’t cheat because I’m happy being single. What does that even mean? I believe you’re more likely to cheat when you are feeling desperate for love and affection, at any cost. I say at ‘any cost’ because the sensible rationale would be “A) Break up with boyfriend#1, B) date boyfriend#2”

I don’t cheat because I remember how I wanted to have the earth swallow me whole and use me for coal the last time I cheated.

Clarification: cheating is not necessarily physical. I describe infidelity as looking outside of your relationship to fulfil something you need, that you should be getting from your relationship.

Some people, MANY people in fact, are serial cheaters. Daddy/mommy/ex/boredom issues, whatever. Or just needing to up their heart rates.

Most importantly, karma is a Rottweiler who never sleeps. She won’t allow any deed to go unnoticed. If you cheat, you will be cheated upon. I know this to be true.

So why even cheat in the first place Ms Perfect, you ask?  Well. I think cheating is a final symptom of an ongoing diagnosis. A coup de grace; the final blow of the sword you need to sabotage your relationship so much that you can never turn back.

The beginnings of the end of a relationship that’s not going anywhere and has no hope of salvage, but you’re too cowardly to pull the plug and do the right thing.

Do the right thing. Your heart will thank you later.

One Response to “Cheatin’ Heart…”

  1. My baby you’re soo right! And as any person who’s been cheated on or has cheated can tell you the consequences are just not worth it!

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